Yearly update :p

Posted in Uncategorized on September 5, 2012 by DecepticonKnits

Things in the past year has been really crazy.  In 2011 I moved from WV to VA for my first job out of college.  That was a big change for my husband and I.  We had always been so close to his family, it was difficult to move four hours way from them.  I was happy with that job, although I had a feeling my boss wasn’t as faun of how I worked.  After working there for 8 months he called me into his office to let me know that he didn’t have to funds to keep me working through my contract.  This was a devastating blow to me since I had barely been there and had really hoped for a few years.

Thankfully, I had made a good impression on a collaborator that we were working with.  He had been impressed with my work and had an opening in the lab.  I talked to others in the institute to see how good he was as a long term boss.  I knew from my own experience that he was a nice guy to work for and was very flexible in many areas.  But after the news I had received I was really wanting to find something that I could hopefully be stable in and not have to fear being laid off again.  He has a good track record of keeping his staff for quite a few years if they wish to stay with him and preform the duties expected of them in the lab. There was only one big thing to think about when it came to working for him, he had recently changed jobs himself.  He changed from being a PI in VA to being both a PI and a director of a department in OR.  That meant a move across the country, 2400 miles away from the family that we already hated being away from.

Needless to say, I took that job.  My husband and I were able to stay in the area for a little while longer while I trained to do lipid assays and protein purification for my new position.  We spent the second half of August visiting with family and friends one last time before making the drive across the country.  All we had with us were the boxes and clothes we could fit into our little Honda Fit.  It took us five days to straight shot it from WV to OR.  We didn’t stop much on the way, the route we had was scenic and took us through only two major areas, so sight seeing wasn’t much of an option. We also had the pleasure of getting stomach bugs, twice, while we traveled. 

Once we reached the area, we spent two days trying to find an apartment.  It is a university town, and my position was on campus, so everything close to my job was either full or incredibly expensive. We were blessed to find an apartment outside of town, though.  The rent is low and it is located to biggest local shopping plaza and grocery and gas shops are all very close.  I have to make a 30 minute drive to get to work everyday, but I think it is well worth what we got.  Even the on-site land lord is great and extremely helpful. 

At the moment I am very happy with were God and life have taken me.  My husband and I love the area we have moved to,  I enjoy my job so far, even if it is moving slow at the moment, and we have even found a decent church to attend, which is great because VA had some of the worst churches I have ever been to.  We both really need an active spiritual life again, and we are so happy we have found one.

Put on the mask

Posted in Uncategorized on April 25, 2012 by DecepticonKnits

I’m having one of those days.  I haven’t been sleeping well for several weeks, usually awake at 2AM and then can’t get back to sleep, onto of my usual fatigue.  This week I have probably gotten a full 8 hours since Sunday.  I am so tired and everything is rubbing me the wrong way.  I am super jealous of two coworkers because they both have been set up with new Mac computers, while I am stuck with a who knows how old dell.  But I guess it doesn’t matter since I will only be part of this group for a month more.  Hopefully my training and new job will have more up to date material, and maybe a bigger desk area (I can’t even stretch out my arms in mine, while everyone else has a double desk that they get to themselves, at least until we move to the new cubes).  I got irritated with another coworker because we work differently.  I sent her some data and wanted an opinion for future work.  She shoots me down and tells me not to worry about it at the moment.  But if I don’t worry about it, then it won’t get planned to be worked on and will fall to the wayside, and then I will for get what I need to do with it.  I need to keep everything in a flow of work.  She tends to hop from one thing to another in a more erratic way.  I don’t know how she keeps up with where everything is in the process. 

 I really just wanted to cuss everyone out a while ago, kind of waiting for someone to push the right buttons so I could just let it all out.  But I probably couldn’t do that anyways.  I always put on my mask of “Everything is okay, I’m fine, no problems here”, not that anyone would notice anyways.  I guess I have gotten too good at wearing this mask.  Hopefully the day will get better.  I have had my tea and piano music, so I have calmed some. Plans for lunch helps lift my spirits, hopefully I won’t get the urge to bite someones head off…

Not an update

Posted in Uncategorized on August 4, 2011 by DecepticonKnits

Things in the lab have been going kind of rough for myself and the lady I am working with. Science is not as easy as it seems in movies and tv.  A comic did the following lay outs of how non-science people view science and how everything really works.  We have hit a few FUUUUUUUUUUUU moments that have made us rage and leave us scratching our heads.  I got a good laugh out of it because I really do relate to it at the moment.

Another Mom Rant (was that this blog…?)

Posted in Uncategorized on May 31, 2011 by DecepticonKnits
Okay, a few weeks ago I graduated with my Masters.  I somehow got the nerve to invite my mom to it, even though I was a rack of nerves afterward.  She came, I almost walked by her I did not even recognize her (seriously she looks like the cougars you see on TV, but I guess she had always looked like that but with more weight and a different air about her).  We talked for over an hour, “reconnecting”,  tough it was mostly her talking and me listening and spewing stuff out that related so I was part of the conversation.  All the while B’s parents and brother and SIL were waiting for us at a restaurant to celebrate my graduation, for an hour.  I invited mom twice and B did once.  But she was afraid and did not want things to go like they did last time (…my dress fitting I guess, which she started).  We said good by several times, but she kept finding new conversations to bring back the conversation.  By the time we finally split ways, I was so mad.  She had changed very little.  She was not as aggressive as she has been in the past, my passive aggressive this time.  Still very self-centered and mostly talked about what was going on in her life and only really wanted to know what my plans for work were.
It has been about 2 weeks since that weekend and I received and e-mail from her on Monday. I copy and pasted so I did not have to retype it.
Hi Baby Girl,
Are you coming to your cousin’s wedding weekend after next.  I know the family would love to see you guys, and it Will be a great way to get the reconnect ball rolling.  I wanted to let you know that I enjoyed our time together at graduation, I just wish it could have been longer. And this was a pipe dream but I really wanted you to say , I see the T’s on a regular  basis so I would like to go to lunch with you and catch up. But I guess the time wasn’t right. Sam there is something I would like to talk to you about, but I don’t think the computer is the right method.  It  concerns your dad and the things he is telling me about your chats with him and I’m not sure if the things he is saying is true or if he is just trying to hurt me. I never seem to catch you on IM when I m on the computer and I  really enjoy hearing your voice and emotions. I think our conversation went fairly well except for my babbling that was nervous chatter, things i wanted to tell you but I only spewed our little bits and pieces that most likely came out sounding a little nutty. So I wish you would call, we used to talk all the time on the phone why can’t we try again. I’m in the process of changing cel so that number isn’t good right now. Work number is the same  ########## and home is ########## ..  I LOVE YOU and hope to hear from you soon.
Okay *breath*…. I do want to go to my cousins wedding, not sure how much she wants me there or not, and I am curious about her situation with her guy (she was the one at my dress fitting who said she was not getting married unless she was knocked up).  However, I still get really angry that out of my mom’s 5 siblings only one was able to make it (and they almost didn’t because they had a cold)  I just picture most family’s as the types that get the date and then plan things around that.  But no, winter is to inconvenient for most and with the holidays they couldn’t travel that much or other people were coming in or they had all these other plans that they could not have moved or planned around since I told them 5 months in advance. No, I should have had it in the summer because everyone is off for vacation time and can plan a week for it.  It makes me mad, and I would be mad at the wedding.  I don’t want to be mad at the wedding.  Weddings are suppose to be happy events and I don’t want to upset that for my cousin.
This is the first time she has directly invited me to any family gathering, I think she may have subtlety invited me to my grandma’s birthday in April, but that one wasn’t really clear and I never got an answer from her if that was what was going on. Why is this event the one to reconnect with the family and getting reconnection started again.  Why not any of the holidays the family has gotten together for in the past 4 years!?  Why the wedding that I don’t want to ruin?
I am not surprised she enjoyed being able to talk to me at graduation, it was like old times and she could talk and talk without me having much input or just continuing her conversation even if I did put input.  I knew she wanted me to drop my plans with B’s family and go sit with her at the restaurant of her choice.  But I refused to do it, I had planned it since before I invited her.  B’s family has done so much for me, my graduation was a celebration for them as well as me.  Unlike my own family they asked about my schooling on a regular basis and knew the trials I went through.  B’s mom even paid out of pocket for my last semester of art classes what my tuition wavier did not cover.  I don’t think my mom would have done that.  I owe a lot to my mother-in-law and just because my graduating was a “worthy” endeavor to my mother, that she should grace us with her presence, I was not going to drop the plans with the family that unconditionally loves me and the things I do.
*Sigh* the IMs with dad…I can’t think of anything that I have told him that I have not tried to express to her already.  That she ruled my life and forced herself in as my BFF.  That I did not have a normal teenage life with friends and fun experiences with them.  No, we always had “plans” that would not allow me to go do those things.  She is the one who talked down my art abilities and made me think I could never get a job in it, that science would be much better, I could cure cancer etc.  But having the chance to take my art classes showed me I really did have some talent in it and I probably could have done some good things their.  With my Masters in science I have been unemployed for a month and I don’t know when I will get an interview for a science job.  I have hopes though, some include cancer research which make me want to rub it in her face more that she has had absolutely no part in being in my life and my schooling and the great things I may accomplish has absolutely no rewards for her.  That house on the beach that I was to buy her to retire in when she was old is never going to happen, she can go ask one of her boyfriends kids for that when they get more schooling.  She makes me so mad!  She had so much control over my life, she even still has a nagging voice in the back of my head controlling me, I just want her to go away, especially since it is clear that she will not change her ways, she is the same that she always has been.  And that’s what I have talked to dad about on IMs.
Of course she wants me to call her.  She can talk over me and and immediately dismiss my feelings that I have portrayed here.  That whole like hearing my voice and emotion stuff is just a load of shit.  She spews these lovely words but they hold no meaning.  It is all about her, and that is how it has always been, and even from this e-mail it is clear that that is how it is always going to be.  I’m so mad now, even with my ranting.  Maybe I should just call, but then I will just get anxious being on the phone, damn phone anxiety.  I also think that I could resay everything that was typed here to her and she will say it has all been a misunderstanding, I remember stuff wrong, that’s not how things were, I am being overly emotional.    It is all crap and I know it.  Why can’t I tell her these things and just be done with it, never try it again.  I am tired of trying and being told that she is taking the first steps in rebuilding our relationship.  Sick and tired of it all.
*sigh*  I need to knit socks.

Sorting quiz

Posted in Uncategorized on May 30, 2011 by DecepticonKnits

The sorting hat says that I belong in Ravenclaw!

Said Ravenclaw, “We’ll teach those whose intelligence is surest.”

Ravenclaw students tend to be clever, witty, intelligent, and knowledgeable.
Notable residents include Cho Chang and Padma Patil (objects of Harry and Ron’s affections), and Luna Lovegood (daughter of The Quibbler magazine’s editor).

Take the most scientific Harry Potter Quizever created.

Get Sorted Now!

 

That was fun.  Ravenclaw was my highest score of 70, then Hufflepuff with 62, Gryffindor with 57, an Slytherin with 52.

Everyone is doing it

Posted in Uncategorized on November 19, 2010 by DecepticonKnits

Well not everyone, one of my friends is.  Chronicle books is having a contest to basically win your wish list.  So here is my list of books from them that I think would be cool to have.  Also, if you have interest in my list you can comment and if I win you may win too!

Cat Companion Journal Cat Companion Journal
Crêpes Crêpes
Get Your Sparkle On Get Your Sparkle On
Ichthyo Ichthyo
Let's Cook Japanese Food! Let’s Cook Japanese Food!
Life's Too Short to Fold Fitted Sheets Life’s Too Short to Fold Fitted Sheets
Listen to Her Voice Listen to Her Voice
Mastering the Art of Beading Mastering the Art of Beading
One Sketch a Day One Sketch a Day
Paper Cutting Paper Cutting
Pattern Magic Pattern Magic
Pocket Moleskine Sketchbook Pocket Moleskine Sketchbook
Quick & Easy Chinese Quick & Easy Chinese
Quick & Easy Korean Cooking Quick & Easy Korean Cooking
Saveur Cooks Authentic Italian Saveur Cooks Authentic Italian
Sublime Stitching Sublime Stitching
Super Smoothies Super Smoothies
Treetops Journal Treetops Journal
Why Did I Buy This Book? Why Did I Buy This Book?
Yum-Yum Bento Box Yum-Yum Bento Box

Crafts and Cats

Posted in knit, life on October 18, 2010 by DecepticonKnits

Ah, my two favorite things (well, other than my DH).   I have been busy with both recently.

First, I have finished somethings, are half way finished with things, and starting some new things, in my craft world.

As most in my area have discovered, the weather is starting to be bipolar.  Random warm, random cold, some days are right in the middle.  Because of this I have decided to make a pair (maybe two down the road) of fingerless mitts.  I have not had a real moment to use them yet, but playing around in them I have discovered they are very warm, so I can’t wait for a day to really wear them.

As always, I have to have a sock going (okay, I have multiple socks going, but this is a new one!)  This one is inspired by Professor McGonagall, the Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts.  I even made it in red to show of her house.  I only have one so far, and I am sad to say that second sock syndrome has kicked in.  However, I have not yet cast-on another pair of socks, and hopefully I won’t until I finish these.

I may not be starting a new pair of socks, but I have started a new project.  I was inspired a bit when a friend came to town and had finished a lovely lace shawl.  I have always been intimidated by lace, yet I spin and purchase lace yarn quite often.  So I finally got the nerve to cast on a real lace project.  It looks great in my handspun that I have been dying to use for quite a while.  I am so worried that I am going to mess up on it that I move my life line after every repeat of 6 rows.  I really want to finish this one because it is so pretty!

 

And now, CATS!  I have had my cats for about 4 months now.  I’ve taken very few photos of them because they want so much petz that when they do cute things they quickly move out of it and to me to be pet. I have gotten a few though by force and some are just not that great, but I have them.  I have also had to put them out recently and that has had me going kind of crazy too.