Ha! I somehow didn’t actually post my blog post from two weeks ago…
Good grief! It has been almost a month since I posted a blog. I’m so bad at this stuff. I’m sorry I get discouraged so easily from these types of things. I will continue to try my best and improve on that.
Just as I will try to focus more on my art projects. I’ve been starting and stopping projects because I don’t feel anyone is interested in what I do. I’m doing my best to remind myself that I’m doing this because I enjoy doing it, not for others recognition. It is a hard thing to get over.
I had a late night one evening last week and did a doodle of someone else who was also sleepy. It helped slightly to get me to sleep. Then, it rolled me back into doing some digital coloring. I felt rusty working in a digital format.
Fell off that horse much sooner than I had expected. Depression led to a long sickness and then life just got in the way, I fell hard and have been struggling to get going again. I have been doing little things from time to time.
Life has gotten kind of busy and stressful. I’ve been managing to do a little work each day though, working mainly on my tablet. Its been fun practicing working digitally. I feel so slow when it comes to working digitally. I’m not sure yet if it actually takes longer, or if being able to easily erase, move, resize, and manipulate has caused me to spend more time on them.
As I posted previously, I’ve started a daily sketch challenge for February. Read On!
I’m wanting a place that I can post my creative process, so that is what this will be. I plan on posting WIPs, finished products, and musings.
At the moment, most of my creative mojo is stemming from IDW’s Transformer’s comics. Robots are a fun and challenging medium. The comics, and past TV shows, have created a wonderful world and characters to play with. I have sketches, paintings, drawings, and such that I plan to post here.
I also want to use this as a place of musing and trying to expand my creative thinking and my struggle as a person and self-confidence in my art.
I’m afraid that I, as many other people, suffer from depression, anxiety, and very low self-worth. But I’ve been on a long road of trying to improve myself in all these areas. I hope that some of my thoughts (and some of my husband’s input) will help me understand myself and help me build a better me, and maybe help others who are struggling.
I want to push myself to create and share works that I think are too unoriginal, or are based off another’s ideas but being twisted into my own style. I have to accept that at times, the idea’s I have are not my own. But I have and want to develop my own style to produce new and wonderful artwork. I have to accept that most pieces out there, even the one’s I love and adore, are not all that original. Being part of a fandom means we are all running around with the same characters, same designs, same backgrounds, and moulding them into our own style. There are many artists doing nearly the exact same pieces. They aren’t original, but they have different styles making each one unique in their own artistic way.
I want to push myself to talk to others, to push past my social anxieties, and to become confident in who I am and what I do. I’m extremely shy and awkward when talking to people, both online and IRL. I am aiming to move past that. To become somewhat outgoing and to not panic when I don’t receive replies, retweets, reblogs, or any other form of acknowledgement of what I said or did. To accept that I am an annoying person, and some people are okay with that and others are not, some people will follow me for it and other will block me. Overall, I like me and my husband likes me, and we are the only two that should have such a strong hold over my self-worth.